Erroring On The Side of Compassion

Thanks to Joe Murchison for sharing his personal quandary and insights about giving to beggars ("Panhandlers offer parents a perfect teaching moment," Jan 18). It is indeed sometimes, but not always, hard to tell the frauds from the truly needy. Here's what I do -- your own mileage may vary.

If they are not an obvious fraud, I choose to err on the side of compassion by giving them a food gift certificate from a nearby restaurant -- McDonald's or whatever. I know certificates are converted easily into cash or traded for addictive substances, but that is an autonomous choice made by the recipient.

On a related subject, when I closely questioned the Prince George's Homeless Hotline (301-864-7140), they said that the rules they have been given to work under do not permit them to provide any services (and they have no other government or private social service referrals they can make) to "homeless" people who can not prove they have a PG County "home address." Let that sink in.

Then they told me that the D.C. Homeless Shelter (800-535-7252) will take anyone without any residence requirement (which I confirmed).

Of course, that is literally cold comfort this winter for those who find themselves "homeless" without a home address in Prince George's County.

Garold Stone
Laurel

Laurel Leader, Letters, January 26, 2007

Let's At Least Say Thanks

Considering all that our military personnel sacrifice personally to serve our country, whether they are actually protecting our country or whether while in military service they simply professionally carry out the various missions assigned to them by our country's leaders, wise or unwise, please let us remember their humanity and consider saying at least "Thanks" once and a while, especially over this holiday period when they are separated from their families.

One way is at www.LetsSayThanks.com where a card with children's art and your message (selected from suggested wording or written by you) will be sent to military personnel overseas (not just in Iraq).



Thank you for your service, away from your home, family and friends, missing so many holidays, personal celebrations, and just being together -- I thank you for your personal sacrifice. I also thank you for your professionalism in such volatile circumstances. May you have good health, clarity of mind and the courage you need to be successful in the very difficult and often very dangerous mission that our country's leaders are giving you to accomplish. Please be safe over there and come back to us all very soon. -- Gary Stone, Laurel, MD

"Enemies" Don't Join You - Duh!

The logic is syllogistic in its simplicity and conclusiveness:

Parties grow by others joining.
Your "Enemies' don't join you.
Therefore, stop treating opponents as "Enemies".

... Duh !

This is not Pollyanna thinking -- It is Strategic!

Please consider my reasoning.

People bemoan the current "extreme polemics" of American politics -- Reds versus Blues -- each side looking for a slimmest possible majority, so it can slam-dunk legislation to impose its own uncompromising world views.

IMHO, neither the Democratic nor the Republican Party will ever again grow large enough to win enough elections to for very long occupy the White House, the Congress, install compatible Justices on the Supreme Court and throughout the judical system -- And cetainly Not IF we each continue to treat our opponents as "Enemies".

It is WE (our party, which ever that may be) who put THEM at that opposing pole, by not engaging them frankly and respectfully while defending and promoting our core personal values, even when they are acting in ways that do not "deserve" our respect. The concepts of "deserve" (good or ill), "should", "must" and even "compliment" and "reward" are fundamentally coercive, and thus ineffectual methods of persuasion.

Much worse, is when we make "enemies" of those who are not really very far from us along the political spectrum.

All that "enemy" making just triggers their individual and collective immune response. No one responds well to being told that they are "evil".

In the words of Korean Great Zen Master (Dae Soen Sa) Seung Sahn
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seung_Sahn

"You make, You have." short for "You make problem, You have problem."

In this case: You make enemy, You have enemy.

Not until you think of them as your enemy are they really your enemy.

They are just people with differnet ideas -- maybe different ethics -- but not your own personal "enemy" unless you want to ban them and everyone like them Forever from your circle -- Enemies don't join. Where else will new joiners come from? Duh!

I am not arguing for the moral equivalence of all political views. I am arguing for the kind of human-to-human respect necessary to convince others to genuinely and voluntarily agree with us or find a livable compromise until we do find where we can agree.

And along the way, our opponents, treated not as our enemies, will let us get close enough to find more common ground on the really big issues where slam dunk majority legislation of uncompromising world views just makes matters worse for every one, immediately and in the long run.

A good book on this subject is Non-Violent Communication (2005) by Marshall Rosenberg.